My (copyrighted) diet plan

1 - declare that you have a fixed budget for food each month (p.c.m - per calendar month)
2 - get yourself invited to one wedding p.c.m
3 - eat and drink all you can at the wedding (drinks are watered down anyway), and food gets served at a time when I should be in bed (asleep)
4 - hope you enjoyed (3) 'cos your monthly budget just went up in smoke on one wedding p.c.m

seriously - why the hell do we have to bring fat cheques to wedding to get cruddy food we wouldn't pay one-tenth of the cheque for, it sure doesn't help the couple get settled financially, they end up subsidising a new SUV for the dude that owns the hall.