People keep asking me, "what's happened to your hair?", when it's quite obvious that in fact nothing has happened to it, it just keeps growing, and nothing like cutting has indeed happened to it for a long time.

This is the story of how nothing happened…..

One afternoon I went to town and found a barber's shop. When I got there there were already three guys waiting outside, so I said "Hello", and the one in the middle said hello, and the little one said hello, and the big one with the deep voice said hello, then we all said hello together…

Then this girl called Irene came along and said that she didn't know why we were all waiting outside, hadn't we seen the sign, and sure enough ,in the window was a sign, and at the top, in block capitals, underlined was the word "Notice", which we hadn't….

Under that was written "we don't cut hair any longer", which didn't surprise me, as I had planned on getting it cut shorter, but Irene, (remember Irene?,) pointed out that the barber had in fact gone out of business…

So, we sung a verse and a chorus of "Goodnight Irene" and went our separate ways, and that is how nothing happened to my hair…

apologies, love and respect to Arlo Guthrie